


Cwtch

by SmileDesu



Category: Young Avengers
Genre: Bullying, Leap of Faith, Low Self Esteem, M/M, Trust Issues, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 06:51:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2419145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileDesu/pseuds/SmileDesu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes all it took was the one word from that one person to tear a person asunder. Thankfully for Teddy, there was someone there with words of his own willing to put him back together</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cwtch

**Author's Note:**

> Cwtch - Welsh word for an affectionate hug. There's no literal English translation, but its nearest equivalent is "safe place".

" _Freak_ ". Teddy Altman was no stranger to the word. In a world where ordinary human beings were rapidly becoming a minority, people used it in an attempt to protect themselves from anything that strayed outside their precious 'norm'. It didn't even take that much - a piercing in an 'uncalled for' place, or a colorful stripe across one's hair, that's all it took in a world where some people were made of rocks and stretched and shot lasers out of their eyes. For the young mutant and his versatile power-set, the word was one he knew would be directed at him and sooner rather than later.  
When it did happen he was caught unprepared, having foolishly let himself feel safe around the wrong person. It hurt so much more than he thought it would, and he knew well that it being said by his best friend at the time and somewhat crush, one Greg Norris, likely had to do with it.  
Interestingly, the word itself wasn't the final straw that finally made Teddy give up on Greg for his own well-being. No, that came roughly five minutes prior after a long time in which Greg took advantage of Teddy, of his kindness and faith and his will to belong. It was one thing for him to play-pretend at being various super-powered celebrities, but when Greg wanted to loot and defile Avengers Mansion, that was when Teddy drew the line. No longer did he want this person's approval. He even had second thoughts about their friendship, but there was no relief to be found when Greg put the pilfered relics down. Teddy thought he was free, that his anger and adrenaline were enough to get him through it, but that's when Greg said it, his voice dripping disgust and contempt -  
" _Freak_ "  
\- and the realization that their friendship never meant much to begin with hit Teddy like a ton of bricks.  
  
The word was used again not even weeks later, again with Teddy as its subject. His crime that time? Trying to find a spot for himself in the school's cafeteria, a task made nigh-impossible since the incident. Highschool politics sure made for messy business. He was about to make his way to the back of the room, his tray at hand, but he took a wrong turn and passed by the table his former friends were all gathered around. The conversation didn't end instantly but even the one or two people who were slow on the uptake quickly fell silent and joined their friends in staring. It let that one word Greg said when Teddy was almost past them to be heard even through the ruckus that came from the other tables.  
"Freak", Greg said with no intention of hiding who said it and what was said. The rest of the table burst into laughter that sounded pre-recorded and hollow as they failed to understand the true meaning behind the insult, not that it mattered. His tray abandoned, Teddy left the hall in a hurry. If he noticed Billy's attempts to get his attention from his spot in the back of the room, Teddy made no such indication.  
  
Billy Kaplan was an enigma. What were the odds that out of their small, already highly unlikely team of super-heroes, someone else would be into the same stuff Teddy was into, had the same sense of humor, and all around made Teddy feel better about everything? Oh, and they went to the same school, really, what were the odds. Now, if only Billy was into guys, too, and all would've been perfect, but Teddy never got around to ask. Despite his impatient nature, he could bide his time with that. His luck had to run out sooner or later, after all, and he preferred holding onto false hope than get a definitive 'no' for an answer.  
Normally the chance to spend time with Billy in an environment he came to feel comfortable in _was_ a big part of why Teddy was always looking forward to their training sessions. That day, however, Teddy wasn't feeling any of it. Every time one of them approached him he replied as though he was distracted. It wasn't even that he performed badly at his individual duties, but the teamwork aspect suffered considerably. When finally they ended that session Billy tried to approach him, but the efforts were rejected. Smiling apologetically, Teddy excused himself, claiming he wasn't feeling well and that he should go home.  
"Teddy..." The sound of his name, spoken in Billy's voice and carrying so much concern was enough to make Teddy hesitate, but he spared Billy but a wave of his hand over his shoulder before leaving. Billy meant well, Teddy knew, but it was misplaced and misguided. After all, if Teddy's best friend thought so little of him, what did someone who knew him for such a short while knew?  
  
The next day wasn't that much better for Teddy who at times thought of skipping class and even ditching practice. He somehow managed to get through school and his sense of responsibility compelled him to brave his afternoon activity as well, so when the bell rang and it was time to leave Teddy kept telling himself it would all be better once he got home, showered and ate something, a luxury he denied himself as he stayed away from the cafeteria that day.  
Home was empty as expected, and Teddy grabbed a quick snack before hitting the shower. It was a quick and rather unsatisfying one as the bathroom was a place Teddy always ended up thinking too much in and he wasn't up to that right then. He checked the clock on his way out and smiled softly. With any luck he'd be able to catch an hour or so of mind-shutting television before he had to leave, this time keeping his angst in check. He couldn't afford to mess up any more, or even his teammates would give up on him.  
That train of thought was abruptly derailed when the doorbell rang, catching Teddy by surprise. He wasn't expecting anyone, and in his confusion he took a bit longer than usual to put on a pair of shorts and run a hand through his damp hair. "Coming!" He cried out and went to answer the door, his towel still hanging over his shoulders. To say he was surprised to see Billy through the peeking hole in the door was an understatement, and when Teddy opened the door he half expected to be proven wrong, that his eyes were playing tricks on him, but there Billy was, face a bit red and hair a mess because of his helmet with his bicycle next to him, his means of transport to Teddy's house. The way he seemed disheveled and a bit out of breath was quite alluring, but Teddy forced himself to look away, ignorant to the fact he did so at the same time Billy looked away from his shirtless self.  
  
"Is this a bad time?"  
  
"No, you actually lucked out, I just got out of the shower."  
  
"Yeah, I... I see that." Billy murmured in reply and scratched the back of his neck. Teddy wasn't sure what else to say so he took a step back, clearing the doorway.  
  
"Come in."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Billy let Teddy close the door behind him and parked his bike next to the wall. Teddy didn't wait until he was done before heading to the kitchen.  
"You look like you could use a drink."  
  
"Only if you want me to live, yeah."  
  
Teddy snickered. "Mom made some orange juice, squeezed it herself, does that work?"  
  
"If it's half as good as her lemonade, sign me up."  
  
Pleased with the praise, Teddy poured them both generous amounts of the juice before walking back with the two glasses. Billy seemed rather lost while he waited but perked up as soon as Teddy was back. He thanked his host for the drink and downed half of it before letting out a joyous gasp.  
" _Woo_ , that hit the spot."  
  
Teddy smiled before motioning towards the hallway. "My room?"  
  
"You ever notice how even when we have the place to ourselves, we go to your room?" It was an innocent enough comment, spoken in a light voice up to the moment Billy realized exactly what he was saying. Teddy on his part pondered that notion, feeling awkward as well though for other reasons.  
  
"We can stay here if you-"  
  
"No I like your room!" Billy was quick to interject. They both blinked before looking away with painted cheeks.  
  
"My room it is, then."  
  
They didn't talk or even looked at each other for a while after that. Teddy sipped from his drink before leaving the glass on a nearby shelf. He then picked up a shirt at random from the closet and put it on while Billy occupied himself with something on his desk.  
"Hey, I don't remember this scene-" Teddy heard him mutter. He got his head through the shirt's collar in time to see Billy flip closed the comic book Teddy left open on his desk.  
  
"GAH, spoilers! Wasn't that supposed to come out next week?!"  
  
"Nope, two days ago." Teddy snickered and pulled his shirt down over his waist. "I _thought_ it was weird that you didn't talk to me about-"  
  
"Ah ah ah _ah_!" Billy yelled, eyes shut tightly and shoulders hunched. "Spoilers shut it blaaaaaaah!"  
  
Teddy quirked a brow, though the look on his face was a fond one as he watched Billy who by then deposited his drink on the desk and was holding his hands to his ears.  
  
"You can-"  
  
" _Aaaaah!_ "  
  
Teddy blinked but waited a bit before trying again. "It's-"  
  
" _Shut it!_ " Billy exclaimed again. At the mildly annoyed look on Teddy's face (which Billy needed a moment to notice because he had his eyes closed again) Billy lowered his hands and seemed both sheepish and apologetic.  
"Yeah I'm done."  
  
Teddy sighed before waving at the book with his hand. "Why not just read it? It's right there and we have time."  
  
Billy looked at the book for a moment but the look that settled in his eyes right after made Teddy frown. It was worried and a bit distant and put Teddy on edge. Billy was bracing for something and Teddy doubted it was the cliffhanging plot-twist at the end of the issue.  
  
"I could, yeah... but that's not what I came here for."  
  
"Ok, now you're just being cryptic." Teddy tried to sound amused but his tension was obvious. Still he sat on down on his bed, arms reached back for support. "What _are_ you here for, then?"  
  
Billy seemed almost like he regretted his words, but he let out a sigh and decided to brave through it.  
"I came to check in on you." He admitted, hands in his pockets. He just barely managed to looked at Teddy who sat up by then and looked down at his hands. "You were out of it yesterday, had me worried... had us _all_ worried." He added quickly but recovered enough to continue within a moment. "I was wondering what was up."  
  
Teddy pursed his lips before glancing at Billy, only to look back down at his hands. Usually he liked the sight of Billy in his room, kept telling himself the guy fit in with the scenery, but right then he couldn't even look at him, could much less answer him. True, Billy had been a good friend to Teddy since they met and a part of Teddy still hadn't given up hope they could ultimately change the nature of their relationship, but he couldn't get rid of the familiar voice in the back of his head telling him it was only a matter of time before Billy got tired of him too. After all, Teddy was just a _frea_ -  
The sound of his chair being dragged from his desk made him look up to find Billy seating himself in the middle of his room in front of him. The gesture made sense as Teddy reckoned he _had_ kept quiet, and he smiled sadly when he finally spoke.  
  
"It's nothing, forget about it." He looked up with that same sad smile which was met with a quirked brow and a doubting look.  
  
"I don't buy that." Billy said bluntly. Tedd's smile widened briefly. Trust Billy to not let him off easy...  
  
"Well, there's not much I can do about that, now can I?" Teddy asked, completely unexpecting the blunt response that followed.  
  
"You can tell me the truth, or at least tell me to drop it, not that it's 'nothing'." Billy demanded, a thick layer of bitterness evident in his voice. " _That_ I can respect, just..." He looked down, his messy bangs doing little to hide his pained frown. "Don't _lie_ to me. I think I deserve that much."  
  
Teddy stared at him in mild bewilderment. Despite the phrasing there was little actual entitlement in Billy's voice, rather pain and frustration. The fact Teddy was holding back actually hurt Billy, a notion that left Teddy baffled. Before he could even properly process it though Billy leaned back, eyes downcast.  
  
"Or maybe I _haven't_ earned that yet, that's your call. I just..." He sighed and seemed to have let out most of his frustration with it, leaving him to look at Teddy with worry and concern. "I'd like to _try_. Teddy, _talk to me_."  
  
Teddy nodded slowly, an indication he heard. A part of him still resisted, insisting this was all an act, Billy simply doing what he thought he should to come off as a good, caring person, play-pretend at being Teddy's friend. After all, look at how Teddy's actual friends treated him... But there was another voice inside him, one that insisted that wasn't an act. That Billy really was trying, that Billy honestly _cared_ , and it was that voice that pleaded- _begged_ \- that Teddy believed him. It was a small, weak voice but the more Teddy humored it the stronger and louder it got until finally he decided - he'd take a chance with this guy.  
  
When Teddy leaned back until his back met the wall Billy was certain it was the final act of rejection, but then Teddy spoke and the meaning behind his words made Billy's heart skip a beat.  
  
"You saw what happened yesterday, right? In the cafeteria?"  
  
Billy watched Teddy for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, it was kind of hard to miss. You know how it is, the popular kids' table bursts into laughter, everyone turns to look out of either curiosity or fear."  
  
Teddy winced at the truth those words held to them. He nodded slowly and was grateful Billy stalled with the question Teddy knew he was dying to ask. Instead he voiced his own while looking at Billy with hesitation in his eyes. "What do they say about it in school? I mean, not yesterday, that--" He lowered his gaze. "About Greg and me. About our 'breakup'."  
He could see it clearly on Billy's face, the way he was overthinking how to phrase his response, what he should and shouldn't say. It made Teddy smile for a moment.  
  
"You know, I'm not exactly a key part of the grapevine, but even I heard at least half a dozen rumors."  
  
"Oh...?" Teddy frowned. Billy seemed reluctant, but he eventually went on.  
  
"Some of them say you were jealous of him. Others, that _he_ was jealous of _you_ , either way it made your friendship fall apart. Then there're the rumors of a romantic advance that backfired, ending the friendship--"  
  
"Romantic- _what_?!"  
  
Billy looked away with- was that a pout?  
"Rumors go from you being into that cheerleader he's dating now to- to one of you being into the other."  
  
"Ha." Teddy sighed and tilted his head against the wall, eyes set on the ceiling. Well, he should've expected that much from his school, that wasn't what worried him.  
"...what does Greg have to say about it?"  
  
Billy shrugged. "Beats me. I do know he blew some guys off, insisting he doesn't want to talk about it. If he changed his mind, I haven't caught wind of it."  
  
Greg wasn't talking. Teddy wanted to make something positive out of it but couldn't. He had an idea of why Greg kept quiet.  
"He's probably scared of me." Scared that Teddy would follow in his footsteps and abuse his powers, only not in Greg's favor this time. The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth. He swallowed and closed his eyes.  
  
"Scared...?" He heard Billy ask and slowly opened his eyes to look at him, but didn't answer yet.  
"Teddy, what happened between you two?"  
  
There it was, the question Teddy needed Billy to ask. For a moment he had second thoughts about the matter, but a glance in Billy's direction helped him make up his mind. It was now or never, was how he felt. Like he wouldn't get this chance again.  
  
"I told him the truth about me." He answered softly.  
  
"The truth- you mean about your powers?"  
  
Teddy nodded and hugged himself. "I was so scared, but I trusted him, you know? My best friend... I thought we'd make it through alright, and at first it seemed like we were making it work. He said we'd be _invincible_..." The word made Teddy frown, which in turn made Billy lean forward and deeper into Teddy's line of sight. The blond managed half a smile before going on.  
"Remember all those superhero sightings in recent weeks people kept saying were fake?"  
  
"...let me guess, it was you, using your shapeshifting." Billy said. Trust him to figure it out, Teddy thought fondly. "The Johnny Storm impromptu signing session, the Hulk showing up out of nowhere yet miraculously not smashing anything..."  
  
"All me, yeah." Teddy confirmed. "It was supposed to be harmless, just some fun and laughs..."  
  
"But then it wasn't." Billy finished for him. Teddy pursed his lips.  
  
"It wasn't."  
  
There was silence for a moment Teddy realized was strained before Billy whispered-  
"Was someone hurt?"  
  
He sounded apprehensive, a fact that confused Teddy.  
"Wha- no, no one was hurt."  
  
Billy deflated. "That- that's good, then." He said and before Teddy could get curious Billy got back on track. "But something _did_ happen, right?"  
  
"Yeah..." Teddy looked down. "It was the day the Avengers announced they were disbanding."  
  
It wasn't verbally agreed on, but neither felt it appropriate to speak for a short while after that.  
  
"Talk about a punch to the gut." Billy finally said, frowning. Teddy nodded once but went on as though that comment wasn't made.  
  
"That day it was Tony Stark."  
  
Billy blinked and looked up at that statement, for a moment failing to place it. "Tony Sta- _oh_!"  
  
Teddy nodded. "Here I was, Tony Stark, watching Iron Man announce the Avengers were no more."  
  
"That... sounds surreal." Billy offered eventually when Teddy kept quiet. Teddy nodded before pushing himself up against the wall.  
  
"Not as much as what came next." He said in an almost detached manner, but the next moment he felt it weling in his chest again, the awe at what Greg wanted to do. Awe, and anger.  
"Billy... he wanted to _loot_ Avengers Mansion."  
  
There was a pause between saying that and looking up at Billy to gauge his response. Teddy wasn't sure what to expect. He felt a certain hesitation, as though hoping Billy would respond like Teddy did was setting himself up for disappointment. Greg made it seem like Teddy overreacted so _colossally_... of course, Billy wasn't Greg, and his reaction was better than Teddy ever dared hope.  
  
" _Please_ tell me you punched him in the face for that one."  
  
In the short time they've known each other, Teddy had never seen Billy look quite so furious. The bloodlust in his eyes made Teddy gulp, and he wondered, as Billy went on a small tantrum, if it was ok for him to feel this... what was the word...  
  
"I always knew he was a jerk, but this? Is _nothing_ sacred to this guy?!"  
  
Ah, yes, that was it, Teddy thought as he drank in Billy's anger.  
  
"They literally _just_ disbanded and he goes to raid the place?! The body isn't even cold yet!"  
  
_Validating_. It was _validating_ to know someone else felt the same, was angry at the same things he was.  
When Billy finally settled down, mostly in favor of looking worriedly at Teddy's solemn expression, Teddy was ready to talk about what really hurt him. He needed to know Billy was on his side with this, too.  
  
"When I told him to drop it, he threatened he'd call the cops and tell him I made him do it. That I was a- a _Skrull_ or something and he was the innocent victim. Class president, team captain, they'd believe him, while I--" He had to gulp but swallowed around the lump in his throat as he hugged himself more tightly. This was it, sink or swim, his leap of faith. He just prayed with all he had that Billy would catch him.  
"I was a _freak_."  
  
A shuddering breath left him at the memory, made all the more vivid due to the previous day's events. Thankfully he didn't have to suffer the silence for too long.  
  
"I _swear_ the next time I see him, I _zap_ him."  
  
Teddy snorted weakly, barely panting out. Billy dragged his hands down his face, alarmed and amazed. It was even worse when Teddy spoke again.  
  
"He said that yesterday, too." He tried to whisper but Billy heard it clearly. He clenched his fists.  
  
"Assholes, every last one of them. Man, is our school a winner or what?! I--"  
  
There was no doubt another tantrum or rant was coming, or so it seemed, but to Teddy's surprise all he received was a small, weak-  
"I'm an idiot."  
  
Teddy glanced up at Billy and found him holding his hands over his face before running them through his hair.  
  
"Here you are, telling me all this, and what do I do? Run my mouth without knowing the first thing about it... Ted, I'm sorry."  
  
"It's ok-"  
  
"No, it isn't." Billy interjected and sat up while dragging the chair closer to the bed. "Look, just- you know he's _wrong_ , right?"  
  
"...no, he isn't." Teddy answered and pulled back, pulling his knees up and forcing a sort of barrier between them. "I'm different."  
  
"It's _not_ a bad thing."  
  
"But-"  
  
"It's _not_." Billy insisted again, though for all his determination his voice was surprisingly warm. "Ted, being different is what makes you _special_. It's what made every hero, every _Avenger_ into who they are."  
  
"...even Hawkeye?"  
  
"Yes, even- God, _especially_ Hawkeye, ok? How many people do you know who think a bow and arrows can actually work, and then _make them work_?"  
  
Teddy lowered his gaze, uncertain as to what he should say to that. Billy took the chance and leaned forward, not quite forcing his way but at least resting his hands on the edge of the bed next to Teddy's legs.  
  
"Teddy, I haven't known you long, sure, but you're one of the finest people I've ever met. You're kind, smart, funny, caring, and let's face it, it takes guts to be on this team we're on. You're fighting for what you believe in, to be a hero, so what if you're different? If it bugs people, it's _their_ problem, not yours! There's _nothing_ _wrong_ with you!"  
  
Teddy hunched his shoulders. _What did Billy know_ , he thought bitterly. _Guy hardly knows me, sputtering all that nonsense_...  
But it didn't sound so convincing. Billy's conviction was firm, his honest faith in his words obvious in his voice. No matter how much Teddy wanted to deny it, the fact remained -  
He leaped, and Billy caught him... even if the guy seemed to disagree.  
  
"Ok, I'm obviously bad at this."  
  
Teddy blinked and looked up, his pose slumped rather than guarded. Billy ruffled his hair before sighing, and when next he looked at Teddy there was something in his eyes that made Teddy feel so... _special_...  
  
"If there's anything I can do for you, get you a drink, cheer you up, distract you... help you plan revenge-"  
  
The snort left Teddy effortlessly, and though it sounded tired, Billy still smiled.  
"Anything at all, Ted, just name it."  
  
Teddy took his time thinking over his request, though it was pointless - he knew well what he wanted, and right then he was a mixture of too comfortable and worn out to care about how it would sound. All he knew was that this guy he was quite fond of would go to lengths for him, and he was granted with a request. He'd be damned to waste it.  
  
"...don't laugh."  
  
"Promise."  
  
Teddy licked his lips before hunching his shoulders again, but this time not out of feeling threatened, but rather bashfulness.  
"I- I _could_ for for a _hug_..."  
  
It was as candid as requests went, so Billy's chuckle made Teddy all the more flustered.  
  
"You _promi-_ "  
  
"I did! I did." Billy yielded with his hands raised. He then lowered them, his smile warm and Teddy dared think affectionate.  
"Mind if I sit next to you?"  
  
There was more than enough room but Teddy still scooted aside, the motion serving as his answer. Billy moved to sit next to him and after a deep breath wrapped an arm around Teddy's shoulders. Teddy couldn't quite help the way he melted against Billy, the warmth seeping into him, soothing and quite wonderful. The sound of Billy's breathing not too far from his ear almost made for a lullaby, but the best part wasn't even when Teddy rested his head over Billy's shoulder, but when Billy rested his head against Teddy's own. It was warm and comfortable and safe, so rather than think he was ruining anything, Teddy didn't even see it as a risk when he asked-  
  
"Did you really mean it? All the things you said about me."  
It was a silly question, he thought, ultimately redundant, but there was no trace of annoyance or weariness in Billy's voice - only care.  
  
"All of it." Billy replied with the same confidence and softness he used so far. Whatever urge Teddy still had to argue faded away when Billy tightened his hold, making Teddy's heart beat a bit faster.  
"Every single word."  
  
Teddy nodded, in the process rubbing his cheek against Billy's shoulder. He'd need a while before he calmed down fully, but he could get there. Billy caught him, after all, and seemed quite content with holding on. So long as he'd have him, Teddy was loath to leave.  
  



End file.
